Open Post and Meme Overflow

[affection_for_research]

 

Open Post and Meme Overflow

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[threesecrets]

[The goat does in fact stay at Gansey's insistence, merely quietly bleating as he leaves her behind to go check on the boy that had dreamt her.

Ronan on the other hand is sitting on his bed, in the dark, hands against the back of his neck. He'd half intended to retrieve his phone and then run out of the capacity to give a shit. Especially because he'd known this was the inevitable fallout: Gansey, outside his door, asking if he's all right. He's not, hasn't been since November, but he doesn't know how to explain that.

He doesn't really want to.]

You can- come in.

[A hitch of his voice, and he scrubs a hand down his face, tries to pull himself together. He fails, but he at least makes an attempt at it.

Adam wanted him to tell Gansey that he loved him, and Ronan didn't even know how to tell him how it ruins him all over again every time he remembers he'd died. The only way he gets through the day is to remember he's alive now. Half the time when they get off the phone he cries, caught in the strange disconnect of it. The light he'd dreamt to find Gansey drawn to his heart, even when it had stopped beating, and the image feels like a metaphor.

Ronan's eyelashes are damp.]

You knew.

[He isn't sure Gansey will understand what he means, because it's been months and he hasn't ever said it. But in the moment it's all he knows how to say.]

[affection_for_research]

[Despite how long they've lived together, an invitation into Ronan's room is a rarity. It causes a pang of wistfulness as he remembers their days at the Barns when no part of the house was off limits and Ronan always welcomed him. He opens the door, unsure of what to expect. The room has the usual amount of clutter, that he avoids as he moves toward the bed.

Squinting into the darkness, he tries to find details to help him understand what's going on, but all he sees are shadows and the darker shape of Ronan in the darkness. For some reason the huddled figure reminds him of the early months of the two of them living thing, when grief was thick in the air and Gansey had no idea how to help his closest friend.

It feels like time is looping, but he knows it's more situational than the strangeness he's been experiencing lately.

The hitch in Ronan's voice breaks his heart, drives Gansey toward the bed even if he doesn't have permission to sit beside him. He sits close enough to offer support, but not too close to invade Ronan's space in case proximity isn't what he wants.

He studies Ronan, trying to find some clue to tell him how to proceed, confused by Ronan's words.]

I don't understand. What did I know?