affection_for_research | Open Post and Meme Overflow

Gansey wasn't sensitive to the ley lines the way the others were, but he still felt something. Maybe it was just excitement or some psychological reaction since he knew that they were near one of the spots that had always given him the highest readings, but there was something different about this place compared to the sites that they'd visited.

"I'm glad that you didn't." He knew that eventually Noah would leave. It was something that Gansey didn't want to think about, but was slowly accepting. Eventually, they'd find each other again. "Whatever brought me back, wanted us to be together?" That was a comforting thought. He hadn't been alone during those frightening moments during his death or afterward and Noah had someone to focus on so that he didn't slip away.

"I don't know if it would have been scary. Perhaps at first." When he'd been new to the quest and he hadn't realized how much magic existed in the world. Eventually, he'd learned that there was far more to reality than what most people assumed. "You know the strange things I've seen during my travels. Would a ghost really be that scary compared to some of those wonders?"

Leaving was not something that Noah looked forward to. What would be there beyond the dark? Would it be like Ronans nightmares? How would Gansey find him again? How would any of them find him again? Would he just be lost and alone again?

Without realizing it, while his mind fell down that rabbit hole, Noah moved closer to Gansey, half hugging his arm in the process. He kept his eyes down on the road; silently taking inventory of weeds and the few bugs big enough to actually take notice of. Leaving scared him more than dying did.

“If you had to see me the way I really look, then yeah...it would have been terrifying....” Gansey would only see this version of him, not the decaying, broken way he really was.

When Noah began holding on to his arm, he wanted to ask what was wrong, wondering if the ley line might be fluctuating or if he had said something that had accidentally hurt Noah. His words seemed to have fewer edges around Noah, but Gansey still could easily injure him.

As he realized what Noah said about how he truly looked, he didn't understand what he meant. Over the years, he'd read countless ghost stories and most were either shadowy figures who replayed certain acts over and over or spirits like Noah. The only difference he could think of would be the circumstances of Noah's death. Like the times when Gansey accidentally witnessed Noah reliving his death. He would see the wounds and the aftermath that he'd imagined when reading the police reports.

Catching hold of Noah's shirt, he pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his friend. "Maybe before it would have been terrifying." Closing his eyes, he rested his cheek against Noah's hair, not caring about the cold. "I can't be terrified of something I may become."

Noah blinked as he was suddenly pulled back into the others arms. If he hadn’t been so grounded here, he would have probably blipped out from the shock of it. But, this time he just relaxed against him and slowly wrapped his arms around Gansey’s waist instead.

He liked this. He liked this a lot more than he could admit. Gansey was so warm, and solid; something that he couldn’t feel most of the time but here he could. Here he felt normal.

But underneath it all, he was still a mess. He was still dead, and hollow, and gross and no matter how much energy he could pull from people or the ley line would change that. He could lean into this though, this beautiful human being that he was realizing he would have probably fawned after in classes and tried to be better for.

“You won’t die.”

He still expected Noah to disappear, not used to how solid Noah was today. It was something he was grateful for, but it still would take time to get used to being able to hold his friend or to be able to tug Noah along with him the way he could with Ronan or Adam.

The chill was easily accepted, especially when Noah was solid in his arms. Gansey didn't know what Noah was hiding, but it didn't matter. He was still Noah even if he might be terrifying to other people. "We both know that's not true," he said, voice surprisingly steady considering how off balance he'd been feeling whenever he thought of that truth. "You'll have to teach me how to knock over card castles and how to haunt Ronan. I'm sure he won't mind if we move into the Barns and keep him company."

The steadiness was all facade. Noah knew even if Gansey didn’t even know.

The blond ghost just hugged Gansey tighter to him because he could and he resisted the urge to sigh from the little bit of pleasure that brought him. Holding people; any sort of touch really, were things Noah absolutely loved. He would hold someone hand for hours, snuggle anywhere it was allowed, even walking if he could. This whole walk made all of the rest of it worth it.

“I won’t let you.” He mumbled against Ganseys shoulder, fingers curling in the back of his shirt, “I won’t. So you’ll have to wait a long time to be able to haunt Ronan. The card castle destruction is easy.”

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