affection_for_research | Open Post and Meme Overflow

[He says good bye to Ronan and sets down the phone. For a moment, he stares out one of the dust coated windows, trying to collect his thoughts. He's not quite sure what to think, but he knows he has to be the stable one for everyone. Even if he's not sure he feels stable at the moment.

When he hears Noah, he turns, smiling despite the concern shadowing his eyes.]

Are you feeling better?

[He's trying, and failing, to not stare. He's never seen Noah in anything other than the school uniform. Noah's familiar, but not.]

I - Ronan will be home soon. He wasn't angry so we don't have to worry about any explosions of temper in the near future. At least not because of this.

[The hot water had felt good on Noah's skin. Being able to wash all of that away. So, when he sees Gansey, he gives him a smile.]

I'm feeling much better.

[More than what he has in a very long time, in fact.]

That's good. Last thing we need is for him to get upset over all of this.

[This is going to take time to get used to. Gansey can't really label the happiness he's feeling, but it is a shock and seeing Noah in normal clothes... it's going to take almost as much time to get used to as Noah being alive.]

Good. He won't get upset over you being here with us.

[Without realizing it, he's moving closer, studying Noah now that he's solid. With Blue he could almost seem alive, but this is different. There's no blurred edges or tricks that kept his mind from sliding away from certain details of Noah's existence. Realizing what he's doing, he forces himself to look away.]

I apologize. It's taking longer than expected to get used to being able to see you.

[He can feel Gansey's eyes on him and he's not entirely sure how to feel about that. It was weird. Then again he, himself, was weird.]

That's good.

[Then the other was in his personal space and he watches him closely. Though, Gansey's explanation gets a smile out of Noah.]

I rather like being able to be seen. Not having to worry about phasing out of existence.

[Everything feels awkward and strange when it shouldn't. It's almost like meeting Noah for the first time, even if he can't actually remember the two of them meeting. One day Noah was part of the group without Gansey ever thinking of how it had happened.]

I think this may be the first time I've been able to see all the details of you.

[It's a rude thing to say but this is a strange moment so it can be excused.]

I like not having to worry about you disappearing. I always felt guilty when it happened.

That's... good.

[Just the words alone get a slight blush out of him. It was the way that Gansey had worded it.]

Why did you feel guilty?

[Gansey isn't quite sure if it's good or not since Noah seems to be blushing, something that he hasn't seen before. And finds fascinating.

He knows that he shouldn't mention it so he focuses on the question instead.]

Because it felt like we were excluding you even if it wasn't intentional.

You weren't excluding me, though. You didn't control whether I was there or not, Gansey.

No, but in a way you were excluded. It was never intentional, but I still wished we could find a way for you to be with us all the time.

[And, technically, it is his fault. He lived and Noah died, but that's not a subject to discuss now.]

Are you... okay? You feel normal? [Noah might not even remember normal, but Gansey isn't certain how else to phrase the question.] No changes from how you were before?

I was there with you all when I could be, even if you couldn't see me.

[He gives Gansey a small smile at the question.]

I feel good, Gansey. As for normal, I don't know.

[Noah really didn't know what normal felt like anymore.]

No changes that I can see or feel. Would it be bad if there were?

You were?

[Gansey had hoped that Noah was there but since he couldn't see his friend, he hadn't been certain that it was true. Since he could see him most of the time, he'd assumed that if Noah wasn't obviously nearby, he was wherever ghosts went when they weren't haunting.

Slowly moving closer, he reaches out to touch Noah's arm, making sure that he has time to tell him no or shift away if he wants to.]

You look normal. I think. You're so much clearer now. I was mostly concerned that you might be hurt or there was some sign that you had been ghostly for the past few years.

I was, Gansey.

[There's a small smile out of Noah. No one knew that he'd been there, but he had been. Sometimes they couldn't see him, though. The leylines weren't strong enough.

He feels the other touching his arm, but doesn't shy away from it. Gansey's touch felt warm against his arm.]

No. I seem pretty solid, from what I can feel. Don't feel hurt. I can't see my face, so I don't know how normal that looks.

[Actually, he felt better than what he had in a long time.]

Now I don't feel so bad. Knowing that you were there.

[He knows that Noah had missed important events, had been alone at times, but at least that had been less frequent that Gansey had assumed. When Noah doesn't move away from the contact, Gansey lets his hand rest on his arm, marveling over Noah being solid beneath his fingers.]

You are. [He can't stop himself from grinning at that. Noah had been solid from time to time, but he'd never felt this real. This normal.] You feel as alive as I am. Your look completely normal. Or what I assume normal looked life before. You were always a bit blurry around the edges before and I never found a clear photograph of you once we knew the truth.

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